(Alternate title – how to act like a coke fiend while not doing coke)
You might remember my buddy David from last week’s post.
He has been talking to me about introducing some supplements in to my workout. He works out fairly often, but is the exact opposite of me in that he loves weights and hates cardio. I, on the other hand, would take biking or running in the rain any day over a nice day lifting weights in the gym. Still, I am working on upper-body and core strength to improve my performance in the Rugged Maniac mud race in October, so I have been incorporating weight lifting in to my routine over the last few months. In addition to David, Shane has also been telling me about some of the stuff he takes. You remember Shane, right?
This douche lord.
So anyway, between the two of them going over the pros of supplements with me, I decided to pick something up this weekend while I was in Charlotte visiting Sarah’s family (Scott, Rachel, if you ever read my blog, I love you guys and thank you for an awesome weekend! Tell Grant Uncle Bryan can’t wait to play with him again!) When we were getting ready to leave the park Saturday, as if by divine providence, I walked by the very last store before the parking lot…. a GNC.
This is Scott and Rachel, by the way. Childrens’ faces hidden to protect them from the embarrassment of how lame their parents are (kidding!)
I asked Sarah to watch the Goose for a second while I went inside, and it was there that I found the particular supplement that I had spent so much time talking to David and Shane about… Jym pre-workout powder. This stuff.
I slapped down my hard earned cash for the young man at the register (who recognized my 828 area code and, as it turned out, was from Asheville NC!) and quickly ran my new tub of powder to the trunk of the car before the rain started in earnest. Scott (a former Marine and now a cop) eyed my powder tub suspiciously, but I tucked it in to the trunk and yelled “GET A WARRANT” before cackling like a maniac and jumping in to the driver side door as the rain started to come down hard.
Sarah and the Goose and I got home on Sunday a tad after noon, and by that night I was ready to try this stuff out.
Now before I get in to the details of my experience, I have to share that I knew some of the dangers going in. I knew, for instance, that this stuff had 300mg in one scoop.
That is more caffeine than any other pre workout product that I found, save for this shit I saw called Mr. Hyde, which has 419mg per scoop in it. Could you imagine downing that stuff and then going for a run?
In addition to the “alertness” that I knew to expect from the caffeine, I also knew through bodybuilder forums I had perused, as well as through the sage advice of my two spirit guides on this journey, David and Shane, that I could expect a case of mud butt at some point in the process.
Armed with this knowledge and warnings, I bravely forged ahead. Now, upon first inspection after opening the tub and removing the seal, I must confess that the stuff smells really, really good. I read the instructions and measured out one unpacked, level scoop with the little scoop that comes with it, and mixed it in to a 24oz tumbler of cold water. The instructions say to mix with between 12 and 32oz, so I figured 24 was fine. Immediately upon starting to mix the stuff, I realized that it wasn’t mixing very well. I stirred and churned for a full minute, but still had little clumps and powdery foam at the top. I considered putting a lid on it and shaking it, but I kept on with the stir, and after 2 minutes the clumps and powder bubbles on top had finally blended in. I then began to follow the next set of instructions and sip on the drink for the next 15-30 minutes.
Now as I said earlier, the smell was really good. Kiwi strawberry was the flavor I chose because according to the muscle guys online this flavor “sucked the least”.
If this stuff sucked the least, then holy crap am I glad I didn’t try the black cherry flavor. This shit was vile. I actually texted David, Shane and Caleb and told them that the taste, and in particular the aftertaste, could best be described as eating the ass out of a three day old hyena carcass, and that was being generous about the flavor. This stuff was putrid. I got scared for a moment, thinking I had bought an out of date batch or something. I checked the tub… nope.
This is what it was supposed to taste like.
I immediately wanted to find the creator of this stuff, “Dr. Jym”, and throw the remainder of the powder in his face and tell him what I thought of his kiwi strawberry.
I held my nose and muscled (heh, get it?) the rest of it down, though, and then settled on to the couch to wait the prescribed amount of time before going to work out. I waited about 20 minutes, then kissed Sarah and the Goose and headed off to the gym.
First up, weights. I will spare you the boring details of my lift, but I did notice after my first few reps of the first set that I was feeling a tad flush. My face was a bit tingly, and I had these little “jitters” in my back muscles and shoulders. Ah yeah, I remember thinking. Here we go.
I blew through all three sets… and didn’t feel tired. Like, not even a little, and this was even after lifting to failure on the 3rd set. So… I did what they say not to do with pre workout. Cardio!
20 minutes on the bike at 7-8-7-6-6-7-8-7-6-6 (out of 10 max) resistance on the bike yielded me a little over 4 miles.
I got off the bike, expecting to finally feel a little exhaustion, but nope… I was wired and ready for something else. Mind you, it was almost 8pm, and I knew that going home this jacked would make for a sleepless night. Further, I knew I had work in the morning. So, I said to myself, I said “Self… might as well make this a brick training session!”
So yeah, I ran screaming out in to the night and did a two mile hill interval run.
It felt about like this.
Of course, that’s just how it felt. In actuality, I was crawling. But dammit, I felt alive.
Once the run was done, I had finally spent the remainder of the nervous energy that had been coursing through my veins. I got in the car and headed home, where I was still very much awake for the next few hours, but no longer felt like I needed to go bench press a Buick.
So, bottom line? Yes, I’ll keep using Jym pre workout. I might even get more once this tub runs out. I will, however, strongly consider a different flavor.
edit – I’ve got a few questions already about it, and though I didn’t want to put it in here for fear of being too crass… yes, some time was spent on the porcelain throne before the night concluded